Secrets of Fife

23/09/24

From Elie we didn’t have plans to travel very far. After seeing all of the tidal pools on our walk we felt we couldn’t possibly leave Fife without swimming in one of them. We decided that the pool we would try out was Pittenweem, mostly because it had motorhome spaces so close to the pool.

We’d originally discounted Pittenweem as a stopover because it only has three designated motorhome spaces. After having to wait for a space at Elie I was sure that it would be impossible to get one where they are in such short supply. But on our walk we had noticed that the car park was almost empty, so maybe everyone thought the way we did. Certainly everyone seemed to have flocked to sandy beachfront Elie and forgotten cliff-and-harbour Pittenweem.

Scotland’s Secret Bunker

Before going to Pittenweem we turned inland to Scotland’s (not so) Secret Bunker. An attraction we’d found in the Rough Guide and seen advertised in a couple of locations.

It was an easy enough drive into the farmlands of Fife to find the bunker. A farmhouse hides the entrance and these days houses the ticket office and shop. Back when the bunker was created, post WWII, it would have looked like just another innocent Fife farmhouse, but now there are a few exhibits outside that evidence the military connections. Around the back of the farmhouse was sufficient parking for a number of cars and big enough for  motorhomes.

We found this an incredibly thought provoking but slightly melancholy exhibition to visit. The bunker was originally intended as an RAF radar base, but technology swiftly moved on and the RAF installation became outdated. The bunker was then intended to be used as a command centre, a place of refuge for the government in nearby Edinburgh, designed to protect military and political leaders from the after effects of a nuclear bomb and allow them to govern the population from the supposed safety of a concrete/tungsten box below the ground.

There are a large number of rooms that are open to the public, and each of them has been meticulously laid out with the equipment that would have been in place at some time in the history of the bunker. Along the way you find out such cheery information as the power the secretary of state would have had to order the general population to be killed (for their own good of course). How this power dynamic would have worked is beyond me. I cannot imagine the lower ranks of civilian and military forces, left outside of the bunker in the hostile after-effects of a nuclear strike, would have followed orders from ‘the chosen few’ for that long.

A couple of small cinemas play films, one of which was pretty harrowing, enacting the societal after effects of a nuclear war. The other, which I think I may remember from my childhood, a public information broadcast. It seems laughable now, but only because we know how insufficient a couple of mattresses on a table top and a horded bath full of water would be.

All of this was excellently put together and starkly depressing. We may believe we have progressed from the cold war, but we’re still just one power-crazed leader away from disaster.

Pittenweem

After the secret bunker we needed a bit of a lift, so we parked up at Pittenweem (no other vans in evidence) and wandered around the village, eventually making our way to the Cocoa Tree. This cafe and chocolatier served us delightful light, fluffy and slightly crispy waffles with a dark chocolate sauce – just luscious. We just had to buy some treats from the chocolatier to take away with us. She doesn’t make large batches so if you are in the area then pop in. The chocolate gingers and crystallised orange peel were lovely, but the trail mix, like mini Florentine bites, was our favourite.

After being cheered up by chocolate we wandered back to the van and watched the seals from the shelter on top of the cliffs. A pod of dolphins swam past us, frolicking in the waves, but being very camera shy.

We talked to the volunteer staff at the tea and coffee shed above the tidal pool. The pool is maintained by a local charity who had to raise a quarter of a million pounds to refurbish it, stop up any leaks and dredge the bottom. The council had refused to maintain the pool (which I can understand given the pressure on council funding) and even have a sign up to say they hold no responsibility for swimmers taking their chances in the pool – but very cheekily they now charge the charity to lease the pool back off them. Next week the charity have hired a team of divers to remove the bung from the pool as it has become stuck. When that is sorted they will be able to conduct regular drains and inspections of the pool floor which should allow them to better maintain the infrastructure. It would be a shame to lose these facilities. We made our own small donation to the fund using the QR code on the signage.

A swim and Phil Jupitus

The following morning we woke up bright and early for our swim. There were already people in the pool, and a steady stream of swimmers drove in and out of the car park.

Bertie’s heating was cranked up and we made flasks of tea and coffee before we donned our swimming gear, shrugged on a warm layer and made our way down to the pool (I love my Dry Robe, Paul has a dressing gown).

I thought the pool was amazing, really long (I think about 80m although I’m not sure) and just like an infinity pool with the sea beyond. Paul couldn’t get used to the cold water but I stayed in for a bit of a swim before heading back to the warmth of the van.

As we sat in the warmth of the van, Paul spotted a man wandering past with his dog. “Alright Phil” he said and then turned around to me and said “He looked just like Phil Jupitus”. We had a bit of a chat about Never Mind the Buzzcocks and then thought no more of it until we were driving out of the village and saw the same man again. “That is Phil Jupitus” I said, “it cant be anyone else”. A quick google later and we found out that he does live in Pittenweem, who would have thought it? Maybe he is another secret of Fife.